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The Claw Gang Rides Again

THE FBI'S MOST WANTED LIST has just been updated with SIX new names and faces. Hardened criminals, each and every one. GAZE UPON THEIR FUZZY MUGS, YE MIGHTY and squeal like a set of old brakes...

* * *

First up: ringleader, organizer, and capo di tutti kitty Vinnie the Claw. Wanted on charges of curtain-climbing, bird-watching with intent, and use of an aerosol product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling - Vinny's got a fierce intellect and a crippling weakness for shoelaces.

Also joining the roster of infamy, Vinnie's brother Tony the Meatball. Tony's being sought for toy battery, yanking the tags off of mattresses, shoplifting, and indecent exposure within thirty yards of a religious establishment.

And don't forget the Claw gang's chief lieutenant, Eddie the Flirt - so-called ironically, because he nibbles disdainfully on microphones and sneers at the "hidden" cameras planted by the feds.

Next up, there's Dollface Annie. A princess on the couch and a killer in the grocery sack, Annie's got the looks of a kitten and the heart of a rottweiler. She keeps the former primped to the nines, and the latter in a trophy case beside her bed.

Worse yet is Annie's sister, Molly Fangs. Annie and Molly are inseparable twins - and unstoppable partners in crime. Molly's wanted for mousie abuse, litter-scattering, and practicing law without a license.

And bringing up the rear is Bugsy Malone, dubbed thusly for his tendency to bug out on catnip. One-time trafficker, Bugsy took one too many hits of his own product and made out with the neighbor's German Shepherd. The Shepherd's owner is pressing charges.


(And oh, yeah - click here to see MANY MORE adorable kitten/dog/toddler pictures from Saturday. In case adorable photos are your jam, baby.)

* * *

Okay, what we're really up against is finding homes for six kittens during the very height of kitten season.

Here's the scoop: My friends Eddy and Kenndra were visiting Kenndra's family farm in Oklahoma, when they discovered that one of the barn cats had been hit by a car and killed. According to Kenndra's dad, the cat had kittens stashed someplace...so after several hours of hunting around, they finally turned up six 1-week-old nubbies of squinty adorableness.

Eddy and Kenndra are (a). huge suckers, and [not unrelated] (b). experienced kitten-fosterers, which makes this one lucky-ass batch of babies.

I'm not even gonna lie - all six of them are great little cats in the making. They're entirely people-friendly, bottle-raised since before their eyes opened; they're likewise content to be snorfled and guarded by a big, goofy dog (as we learned on Saturday), and they are hilariously toddler-tolerant.

The gold/gray tabbies are both girls, and they're both particularly outgoing. Dollface Annie in particular was Highly Intrigued by Greyson - alternately following him around, sneaking up on him, and outright chasing him. I thought she kind of had the market cornered on accidental dog-bullying, but then her sister leaped off an ottoman onto Greyson's back, and I knew these sisters were two peas in a pod.

The two black boys are almost identical, though one has a tiny bit of white flecking on the front legs (but you have to look close to see it). They are typical charming, playful, little boys - total comedians. They were unsure of Greyson at first, but before long, they were both creeping up behind him to wrestle with his tail.

The two tuxedo jobbies are also boys, and they're complete cuddlebugs. They're the two who kept trying to lie beside us, on top of us, and in the crooks of our arms for naptime. They're likewise the fluffiest and softest of the bunch; I think they're likely to have longer coats.

At present, this batch of babies is about five weeks old - and in another couple of weeks, they'll be vetted and given their first round of shots. At which point, they will be READY TO ADOPT.

SO. If any of this piques your interest and you're in the greater Chattanooga and/or adjacent North Georgia area (or are willing to drive here) ... WELL THEN. Please allow me to direct you the Claw Gang's foster dad, Eddy Anthony. Please contact him via this address - edwardbanthony@gmail.com - and tell him which of the wee monsters you'd like to call your own.

In a perfect world, he'd like to send them off in pairs - but let's be real, this is six kittens and good homes are limited. If only one steals your heart like a little felon, well then, he can work with that.

Right! So! To recap: Kittens up for adoption, vetted and hand-reared in a loving home, cool with kids, cool with friendly dogs, available in the Chattanooga area. And don't write ME about them, write Eddy Anthony, for he is your kitten gate-keeper: edwardbanthony@gmail.com

Feel free to pass this around!


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 12th, 2014 01:59 pm (UTC)
Soooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

I actually have an opening for one or two kittehs, but I don't live anywhere near Chattanooga, and it's kitten season here, too. (And it's ALWAYS cat season, sigh.) I should get off my tush and take my kids to the humane society.
May. 12th, 2014 03:14 pm (UTC)

Um, not to be trouble, but did you notice that two of the kittens are named Tony?
May. 12th, 2014 03:15 pm (UTC)
I know, like, six Tonys.
May. 12th, 2014 04:34 pm (UTC)
I would contribute a fiver to get the barn cats in OK TNR'ed. Most rescues are desperate for barns that have room for semi-feral kittehs.
May. 12th, 2014 04:50 pm (UTC)
These aren't feral in any regard. They're entirely, adorably, lovably socialized to people, dogs, kids, etc.
May. 12th, 2014 04:51 pm (UTC)
Or wait - I think I misunderstood. As for the rest of the barn cats in OK, I don't know anything about them.
May. 12th, 2014 08:05 pm (UTC)
Yeah I was hoping to get the kittens' aunts and uncles TNR'ed. :D
May. 12th, 2014 05:22 pm (UTC)
This is exactly what I needed on a Monday! (:
May. 12th, 2014 08:56 pm (UTC)
Living in Sydney, adoption is not an option, alas. But I've put the word out on my SM pages. These are gobsmackingly gorgeous kittens, your friends are super-spectacular, and thank you so much for sending up the flare.

Also, Greyson looks remarkably handsome in his summer suit.
May. 21st, 2014 06:59 pm (UTC)

Alas, we are in MA.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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