shineyquarter and i hit the mall in true girlie fashion, raiding the usual stores and stopping for meaty, sour-creamy smashed potatoes at The Steak Escape--where, because we have breasts, we were given the mall discount. by the time we left the multi-stored mecca, we had acquired (among other things) black velvet pants, a flashy-lighted thing, and Soul Calibur II for Avi's PlayStation.

later, we settled in at my place with the wine Avi so kindly brought from the Biltmore estate; and then we popped The Medallion into the DVD player for some Jackie Chan goodness. regarding that cinematic experience, i can only say the following: The Medallion is a perfectly godawful movie.

there is absolutely nothing surprising or innovative going on in this story, which is too bad, because there is a grand (though badly typecast) appearance by Julian Sands as the Devilishly-Handsome British Villain Seeking Superhuman Powers and Immortality Whilst Nancing About the Secret Lair in a Black Swishy Coat. and of course there is Jackie himself, reprising his perpetual role as Unappreciated and Underestimated Hong Kong Secret Agent Who is Kind to Animals and Small Children, Though Still Manages to Kick Ass in a Creative and Entertaining Fashion. also in this terrible flick, you will find The Mysterious, Adorable Asian Kid Who, Despite His God-Like Powers, Is In Constant Need of Rescue from the Aforementioned British Villain. Meanwhile, you can ogle Claire Forlani, the Eye Candy Who Serves as an Unconvincing Romantic Foil to the Sweet, Self-Effacing Hong Kong Agent Old Enough to be Her Father. and don't forget Lee Evans, the Bumbling British Agent Who Insists on Being In Charge, Yet Clearly Is Incapable of Leading a Raid On a Taco Stand, Much Less Taking On a Criminal Mastermind.

and what the hell was John Rhys-Davis doing in this travesty of celluloid? well, i'll tell you. he's the Unspecifically-Foreign Director of Some Interpol Division Whose Job it is to Provide Deus Ex Machina, or Possibly He Was Just Looking for Harrison Ford, It Was Kind of Hard to Tell Since He Was Boasting the Exact Same Suit and Nondescript Accent That He Had in All the Indiana Jones Movies.

of course, none of this is to say that we didn't enjoy it,
'cuz we did. but that does not change the fact that it was a terrible movie.
that's all i'm sayin'.

right. well. day job calls.
bleh. mondays.
~w_w~