23 June 2005 @ 09:57 am
It's a writer's job to eavesdrop, yes?  
[Overheard in McDonald's this morning]

Two little boys, approximately 4 or 5 years old, spy each other in line. Their mothers are holding their respective hands, staring straight ahead at the menu board with that dispassionate glazed look -- like they're pumping gas, or waiting for a dog to do its business.
    Little boy #1: Hey! You get McDonald's for breakfast too!
    Little boy #2: Yeah! I'm getting pancakes! I thought I was never going to get pancakes again.
    Little boy #1: How come? Your mom doesn't make pancakes at home?
    Little boy #2: No. I only get them here. And I didn't think I was ever going to taste them ever again.
    Little boy #1: How come?
    Little boy #2: Because after my little brother's birthday party, my Mom said she'd rather take it up the ass than eat here anymore.

I do believe that this little fellow* has officially topped my brother's "from the mouths of babes" gem -- wherein he once, as a wee 'un, approached an army officer at a party and asked if he could sleep with the man's daughters.

Ah, kids.



* Who, as he was being led back to a booth by his hysterically laughing mother, was fussing, "BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

 
 
Current Mood: awash with residual hilarity
 
 
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Death Has Never Looked So Good[info]koshkaphoenix on June 23rd, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
Bwahahaha. Oh Gods...
The Great Jillinsky[info]heavynleigh on June 23rd, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
that's awesome! :-)
kfitzwarin[info]kfitzwarin on June 23rd, 2005 02:05 pm (UTC)
That is absolutely priceless. Just what I needed on a Thursday morning!!
Livia Llewellyn: Work Diva[info]the_numinous_1 on June 23rd, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
I reallly have to remember to put my hand over my mouth before I read your posts - to keep both laughter and coffee inside.
Copperwise[info]copperwise on June 23rd, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
And yogurt. And raspberry yogurt in the sinus cavities is not a fun thing.
Major Don Esq[info]donwaughesq on June 23rd, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
I hate you.

My monitor needs cleaning now.

And my boss is giving me that "Oh-Good-Lord-What's-He-Breaking-Into-Maniacal-Laughter-For-This-Time?" look.

But somehow, I can hear this one in my head, with all the innocence of a kid.
DJ[info]dannyboi on June 23rd, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
Oh my God I am laughing out loud and my coworkers think I am nuts. Of course, I am because I want to come pick up all 4 of those puppies you posted about.
Addison and Steele are Pining for the Fjords[info]cmpriest on June 23rd, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Come on down and get 'em!
It's not that far ...
[info]conducts on June 23rd, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Priceless.
怪獣 人造猿間 - cam - 忍者 高所恐怖症: Weedmaster P <3 hot dogs[info]kaiju8 on June 23rd, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
Funny stuff! My almost-4-year-old has some great quotes. His 12-year-old brother has introduced him to Futurama, and the stuff he quotes from that is priceless. I remember he fell off the see-saw the other day and came running up to me saying, "Ouch! My Human Butt!"
[info]virasana on June 23rd, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
*water snarf on monitor*

That's priceless!
野生キス[info]wyldkyss on June 23rd, 2005 02:12 pm (UTC)
I can generally agree with his mom's sentiments though...
Scott "Scix" Maddix[info]scixual on June 23rd, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
Me, too: I'd rather take it up the butt than eat at Mickie D's.
oh god how did this get here i am not good with co: LOLMOO[info]folk on June 23rd, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, that is priceless.
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.[info]queeniexb on June 23rd, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
That rules.
Jilly McJillerson: Gangsta' Hamsta'[info]spiritchaser1 on June 23rd, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
hahaha!
Sande: Mommie Dearest[info]scienter on June 23rd, 2005 02:17 pm (UTC)
That is hilarious! I'm glad the mom had a sense of humor about it...I don't know if I could have. Well, yes, I could have. My child has said a number of things that have caused me to turn completely red or completely white while standing in various lines seeking to purchase something, but I can safely say that my list of things I'd put behind taking it up the ass remains my own little secret!
JC Cohen[info]jccohen on June 23rd, 2005 02:20 pm (UTC)
From the mouth of babes at McDonalds...
a family story is of a relative (vague to protect anonymity), at the age of 6 or so (before you could clearly tell, if she didn't dress a certain way, if she was a boy or girl) who was waiting in line to use the ladies room. The old lady behind her told her that the boys line was over on the other side, and my relative kept insisting she was in the correct line. This went on for a little while with the woman saying things like "but the boys line is over there" etc. Finally, the relative had enough and screamed at the woman "I am a girl! I am! Want to see my vagina?"
winterlady: Hobbes-Happy[info]winterlady on June 23rd, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
Re: From the mouth of babes at McDonalds...
lol - that's funny! ..and you know what? Good for your relative for holding their ground and standing up to an idiot who clearly doesn't know HOW to listen to children. I hope your relative embarassed the heck out of her,

:)
Re: From the mouth of babes at McDonalds... - [info]dansr on June 23rd, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC) Expand
Shannon K.[info]ladypyrate on June 23rd, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO!!!!! Thank you, thank you. I really needed a laugh..
André: Tongue[info]knighthorse on June 23rd, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
You just can't make up anything better than that.
boysenberry[info]emalyth on June 23rd, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
Post of the Week!
Fabled Apteryx: Kiwi Heart[info]dakiwiboid on June 23rd, 2005 02:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, my!
It's just a good thing that the folks who are holding a meeting are doing so behind closed doors, because I really snorked at this one! Thanks for posting it!
[info]ohbitchplease on June 23rd, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)
That is just precious. Kids are so funny and they don't even know it!
Queen of the Catnip[info]seidhrcat on June 23rd, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
OMG! That is so priceless!! Gotta love some of the things that come out of kid mouths sometimes. ;)
Hayley[info]kayleighraven on June 23rd, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
That beats me telling my parents' friends that Mum had thrush. By a LONG way.
Empress of Elvis [Costello] Impersonators[info]ms_violet on June 23rd, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Chris[info]kakaze on June 23rd, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
God, why doesn't anything like that ever happen to me?! I wanna hear a kid say something like that in public.


From what my mother says, I used to ask her—loudly and in public—whenever I saw another woman if that woman had a "china" too.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, just think about it for a few minutes.
Ishara[info]ishara on June 23rd, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
*snigger* Bet your mum was thanking the powers that be for the ill-formed verbal skills of her child each time you did, too. ;P
(no subject) - [info]kakaze on June 23rd, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC) Expand
Ishara[info]ishara on June 23rd, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
*chokes on icecube*
My neighbors must think I'm insane, bursting out with hysterical laughter at this time of night.

Who says that sort of thing in front of thier kids? especially when said kids are minors!?
[info]flcodemonkey on June 23rd, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)
The thing about having little kids, is that you are never sure whether they are listening or not. And how much they are absorbing. I've gotten some interesting surprises from mine.
(no subject) - [info]cmpriest on June 23rd, 2005 03:07 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [info]ishara on June 23rd, 2005 03:10 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [info]flcodemonkey on June 23rd, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC) Expand
(no subject) - [info]ishara on June 23rd, 2005 04:14 pm (UTC) Expand