I'm thinking of starting a new LJ Series - tentatively (and exhaustively) titled,
Real Life Stuff So Pointless, Surreal or Stupid that No Editor Would Allow it to Appear in a Work of Fiction.

Ahem.
Here you go. Entry #1 in what is sure to become a regular series.
Feel free to contribute your own anecdotes in the comments.

EDIT: If you'd like to hear the teeny plastic light-up ray guns, check this voice post here.

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Some time ago, for the purposes of a tech trade show, my company produced swag in the form of teeny plastic light-up ray guns with our corporate logo. These teeny plastic light-up ray guns make startlingly loud BEEYOOO BEEYOOO PATOW PATOW BEEYOOO sounds when their triggers are squeezed, and they come with a keychain ring attached -- despite the fact that they won't fit comfortably into anybody's pocket, and even if they did, would you want your crotch to emit wild shooty sounds at random strangers? I think that the majority of my readers would say, "only sometimes."

Anyway. After the teeny plastic light-up ray guns were passed around the trade show, there was still a box of toys left over. Many of these toys found their way into the pockets and purses of employees, who brought them home to torment their pets and annoy their loved ones. But a significant number of teeny plastic light-up ray guns also found themselves stuffed back into a box and left on the floor beside my boss's desk. There, with no one to squeeze their little triggers, they sit quietly -- most of the time.

Here's where it gets weird.

About four feet away from this box of teeny plastic light-up ray guns there is a Coca-Cola machine. It's one of those large jobbies that dispenses plastic bottles instead of cans; so for a buck and a quarter, a frosty resealable beverage can be yours. But this Coke Machine of the Damned dispenses more than caffeine and sugar. Oh yes. When the weather is right, it also serves up a nasty shock -- the kind you get when you run your feet on the carpet and touch a doorknob, if you had feet the size of throw pillows and the doorknob was once a hub cap. It'll poof your eyebrows and straighten your curlies.

And when such a zap is administered to an unsuspecting, coin-bearing beverage-seeker, a funny thing happens -- dozens of teeny plastic light-up ray guns in the box simultaneously fire a deafening cacophony of BEEYOOO BEEYOOO PATOW PATOW BEEYOOO!

Mind you, you have not touched the box. You are several feet away from the box. You are standing in front of the Coke machine, trying to smooth your hair back down and get that buzzing noise out of your ears. Why are the teeny plastic light-up ray guns trying to shoot you from within their box? Why? You've done nothing to provoke or antagonize them, have you? HAVE YOU?

I sure as hell don't know. But if freaks me out every time it happens.
It's like they're waiting in ambush or something.

I just wanted a Dr. Pepper, for heaven's sake.